Moving to Spain feels like falling away from my life. It feels as if I am leaving so much behind. The great thing about stepping back from your life, about falling away from your life, is you leave space. That space is scary and big – but the thing is that you can fill that space with anything. I am choosing at every moment to fill this space with self-love, with grace, and with empathy for myself. I am choosing to reject the “it’s never enough.”
This is my simple starting point for my journey. I don’t know what Grant and I will be doing for the next bit of our lives and even what my goals are for it. I am starting by filling that space – time, energy, thoughts – with a vote of confidence in myself.
I understand myself now better than I’ve ever understood myself before. I’m not sure if and how this self-awareness will continue to grow as I get older. I know what I’m good at, and I know what my constant struggles are. Somehow in some accepted constraints, I am freer. I’m ok with it. I am trying to be my best for the people I care most about.
I can say confidently: I know and love Meg Marvin. And I’m looking forward to getting to know her better as she travels and changes.
As many of you know, I can be a bit of a perfectionist. This has not always served me badly. I have done well in school and advanced in my career. However, I hold myself and others to such high standards sometimes that I lose sight of what’s important and I lose my great talent of empathy with others. The irony is that it’s easy to judge myself for judging myself and others so stringently. It’s much harder to stop and give myself grace.
So that’s where I’m starting.